AI-Enabled Coffee Machines: Weekly Gossip Reports
- Ravi
- Dec 9
- 1 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
Some procurement meetings start normally… until one requirement derails the room. In this case, the procurement head calmly outlines an RFP clause for AI-enabled coffee machines that must generate weekly office gossip reports by department.
Vendors take notes. Employees gossip freely in the cafeteria behind them. And the absurdity becomes the punchline.
Punchline
“We need AI-enabled coffee machines — they must generate weekly office gossip reports by department.”
The Insight Behind the Humor
Gossip thrives near the coffee machine. It circulates through corridors and lunch tables, shaping culture more than any formal announcement.
But instead of understanding culture, organisations often try to control it.
Dashboards replace conversations. AI replaces trust. And suddenly, measuring the unmeasurable becomes a leadership priority.
This cartoon doesn’t mock gossip. It mocks the belief that more surveillance equals better culture.
Why This Cartoon Works
The vendors’ note-taking adds seriousness to nonsense.
The cafeteria gossip in the background strengthens the setup visually.
The requirement is hilariously specific (“weekly reports by department”).
It mirrors real corporate behaviour — overengineering the wrong things.
The exaggeration is tiny. That’s why it hits.
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